If You Love Me Part 2 - A Deeper Dive
Message Recap
This week we continue our sermon series If You Love Me. Last week we introduced the series by reflecting on Jesus’ words to the disciples, “If you love me, keep my commands.” John 14:15 (NIV). We learned that our love for Jesus should lead to some form of action. Saying we love Jesus is easy. However, being obedient as a demonstration of that love is much more difficult. We also considered how challenging the world makes it to follow the path Jesus laid out for us. Fortunately, we have the gift of the Holy Spirit, who lives and works within us to help us resist the temptations of the world and remain obedient.
So what are the commands that Jesus expects us to follow? According to some scholars, there are 1,050 commands given directly by Jesus recorded in the New Testament. How can we possibly remember all of those commands? Again, the Holy Spirit is our resident helper who guides us through challenges where we might disobey one of Jesus' many commands. For this study, we will focus on three broader categories of commands: love, grace, and forgiveness. When we talk about grace, we’re talking about giving something to someone undeserved. Therefore, by definition, forgiveness is a form of grace.
The parable of the wicked servant found in Matthew 18:23-35 is a familiar and often used story to illustrate forgiveness. Jesus told the parable in response to Peter’s question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Essentially Peter is asking Jesus when enough is enough when it comes to forgiving someone. The parable describes how a particular servant owed his master a significant sum of money. In response to the servant’s plea for the master’s patience, the debt is canceled, and the servant is set free.
Yet, the forgiven servant, who receives the grace of the master, immediately demands repayment from a fellow servant who owes him money. Rather than extending grace as the master had done, the forgiven servant demands that the debtor be jailed. When the master learns of this, he has the forgiven servant put in jail, saying, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33 NIV). The story's point is that we all should extend the same forgiveness we’ve received without limit. The sins Jesus forgave through his sacrifice on the cross are much greater than any sin we are asked to forgive.
When we forgive, we are not excusing the sin. Each time Jesus forgave sin, he encouraged the person to go and sin no more. Forgiveness is the willingness to give up our right to collect on a debt or seek revenge for harm done. The book of Leviticus actually directs us to take revenge:
“19 Anyone who injures their neighbor is to be injured in the same manner: 20 fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. The one who has inflicted the injury must suffer the same injury. ”
But while Jesus acknowledges the law found in scripture, he suggests a different way. Rather than inflicting revenge on those who most certainly deserve it, Jesus commands us to extend grace. “If you love me, keep my commands.”
Our broken world makes it easy to withhold forgiveness. We live in a culture where holding a grudge against someone for errors in judgment is the norm. Forgiving those who harm us is the exception. Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians:
“32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
We forgive because God forgave us first. Forgiveness is less about the person we are forgiving and more about our relationship with God and keeping Jesus’ commands.
While the parable of the wicked servant is a powerful message of forgiveness, does the ending trouble us? The story's point is to forgive someone no matter the size of the debt or the extent of the harm. Yet, the master ultimately punishes the servant after initially forgiving him.
“32 Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.”
Didn’t the master already cancel the wicked servant’s debt? And yet the master has the servant jailed and tortured “until he should pay back all he owed.” How can the servant pay back what he doesn’t owe?
Sometimes scripture can appear to contradict itself. We can look at different translations to gain additional insight when encountering something that doesn’t seem to reconcile. In the case of verse 34, when we look at the King James version, we find something different:
“34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.”
Notice the subtle difference: in the King James version, the servant must pay all that was due him to gain release from jail. In other words, the master now expects the wicked servant to pay the fellow servant's debt or endure prison and torture until the additional debt is paid.
We are imprisoned by bitterness, anger, and resentment when we hold a grudge. The grudge has no real impact on the other person. Instead, we carry the burden of the emotion associated with our unwillingness to let go. Do the grudges we hold against one person make it easier to hold grudges against others? Does it establish a pattern of behavior that can only God can help us resolve? If we give grace to those who sin against us, we pass on what God has freely given us.
Jesus commands us to forgive, just as God first forgave us. But what do we do when the person who harms us offers no repentance? Does grace apply to those who have no apparent remorse for their actions? That is the topic of our Deeper Dive.
When There is No Repentance
In the parable of the wicked servant, we see a man who, when confronted about his sizeable debt to his master, immediately falls to his knees and asks for patience and time to pay the debt. The servant is obviously remorseful for his failure to satisfy the obligation. When we seek God’s forgiveness, we must first repent of our sins. The master, as modeled by God, immediately offers grace to the repentant man.
But what about the person who knowingly harms us and shows no remorse? Are we obligated to fulfill Jesus’ command and forgive the person indifferent to the harm caused? Jesus commands us to forgive the sinner even if the sin occurs repeatedly. Jesus responded to Peter, who asked how many times we must forgive, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” As long as the sinner repents, we extend grace.
However, unlike loving others (another of Jesus’ commands), forgiveness is not unconditional and requires repentance. The Gospel of Luke includes this command from Jesus:
“3 So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”
Repentance must occur if a person truly wishes to change and grow closer to God. When we don’t admit our transgressions, it’s impossible to adjust the direction of our lives and experience transformation. Repentance to God and one another demonstrates that we need God to help us change our thinking, attitudes, and behavior.
The ultimate purpose of forgiveness is the healing of a relationship. This healing occurs only when the offender repents and demonstrates remorse, and the offended one offers grace and shows God’s love.